Undeniably American

Some days I am painfully aware of my American-ness, and I can see just where the Europeans find humor (and occasionally frustration, I’m sure) at my behalf. One such occasion ensued as Erin and I flew back from Lisbon and landed in the Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. The transcript of our conversation while approaching the airport would look something like this:
E: Oooooh! I hope we get to see the Eiffel Tower.

N: (looking around to see which side of the plane might have better viewing potential) The Eiffel Tower! Me too!

E: I mean, I know I’m coming here in June, but I don’t want to wait. I want to see it NOW!

N: Which direction are we approaching from? This airport is North of Paris…I think.

E: We’re supposed to be there in 30 minutes, but I guess we’re still a ways away.

(Proceeding to strain our necks looking out the window, undeterred by the previous revelation)

E: Is that Paris over there?

N: Maybe. Yes. No…wait…no, no definitely not. I mean, Paris must be bigger than that.

(Watching with bated breath)

E: There is that it? Well, maybe it’s too far.

N: Well, Paris is pretty far from the airport, so it could be…oh gosh…shhhh, if the French people hear us…

E: Yes, “American tourists”…

N: But we are…sort of…

E: We can claim Germany sort of…

N: (Looking around to see if anyone has noticed us having a conniption trying to see the tower) Eh, at least we have an excuse.

E: Hey! Is that it, that thing there?

N: Huh? What? Where? No. I think those are power lines.

E: Are you sure?

N: Yeah, I don’t think it’s tall enough…oh yeah, there’s more than one. Oops. That would be embarrassing if someone heard us.

E: Oh my gosh! What if we THINK we see the Eiffel Tower and get all excited about it, but it isn’t really it and the French people around us are all thinking, “Stupid American tourists”?

N: That’d be bad, but at least we’d think we thought we’d seen it.

E: But we really want to see it. Ok, we have to calm down so they won’t know what we’re doing.

N: Ok, ok, you’re right. (Talking a long breath in) Looky, looky! There! I think I see it – you know that thing we were talking about!

(If no one’s heard us already, they’ve surely heard us now.)

E: I don’t see it.

N: Well, I’m not sure – no, that’s it, I just saw where it splits. Look there…no further to the right…

E: I see it! It has to be, right? It’s soooooo tall.

E & N: Woooooooow!

(Mind you, we are effectively ogling what looks like a stick from the distance we are at.)

E: I really hope it’s right. How much time do we have here?

N: Two hours.

E: We should go on a bus to the city, just to see.

N: We almost have enough time.

E: We could do it…

N: But if what happened this morning happens, we’re stuck.

E: Yeah.

(Collective sigh. Meanwhile the plan lands.)

E: We saw the Eiffel Tower!!!

N: I know! Oh my gosh, we can’t get up. I’m sure everyone heard!

E: Well, they probably couldn’t see us.

(We look at each other and get up.)

N: (innocent face) We had nothing to do with it.

E: With what?

N: Exactly.

(We leave the plane.)

E & N: OMG! We saw the Eiffel Tower!

We did later determine that it was indeed the Eiffel Tower, and we also got a better view. Some days it pays to be a silly American! And dude, seriously…we saw the Eiffel Tower!

Deine,
N*