Last weekend, I attended the wedding of two of my good friends from high school. The ceremony was beautiful in so many ways, and I am so glad for both of them. Afterwards, I was at the reception, where I spent time with many people there who I knew from high school. Since I was there alone, I ended up getting to catch up with all of them throughout the evening. At the end of the night, I started a conversation with a friend with whom I had a lot of classes in high school, but I haven’t seen since graduation. He recently moved to a new city for his job, so he’s in a similar situation to what mine in Germany will be, and we talked about it a little. Neither of us is particularly outgoing, so while moving may be exciting, it also means having to put ourselves out of our comfort zone to meet people. I can’t speak for him, but I don’t really mind spending time alone; however, it’s nice to have some friendly people around when I’m away from my family. The problem is finding them.
We agreed that making friends was easier (relatively...friendship is never easy) in high school. Until I left school, I never thought about how hard it can be to meet people when you don’t have chances to interact with others in classes or in a dorm-type setting. Making friends has been something that has been weighing on my mind lately, and it was reassuring to know that my college roommate and I are not the only ones who have been feeling this way. This summer, I’ve been working on my “people meeting skills,” so I’m excited to be a little more confident about being outgoing enough to meet some people my age in Germany. That being said, working through all of this for myself has made me all the more thankful for the friends I already have because finding friends who stick with you through it all is so rare. I just want to take a minute to let all of my friends know how much I do appreciate them. I’m looking forward to continuing to grow together, even though our lives may lead us far away from each other.
It was pretty much the end of the night by the time my friend and I started talking, and when the DJ announced the last song, he (my friend) asked me if I would like to dance with him. It was unexpected and struck me as very thoughtful of him, which meant a lot to me after coming to the wedding by myself. As we were dancing, I realized how much all of us have grown up through college. Four years ago, my friendships were limited by how much I was capable of letting people in, which meant I missed out on some friendships that I’m now open to having. Until I learned more about who I am, I wasn’t ready to have those friendships, or at least not certain aspects of them. Part of growing up is becoming who we always have been inside, so I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this. The really great thing is that friendships from so long ago can change to take on who we are now because there is already a strong base of common experience upon which to build. I want that to happen, so I hope that you’ll take the time to get to know me again, and I’ll do the same for you. Even though so much is different now, some things aren’t and never will be. One of those things is how we’ve been lucky enough to have each other...then and now.
Deine,
N*
The adventures of an English teaching assistant working and living in Saxony-Anhalt, Germany.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Limbo Land
I’ve been putting off writing for awhile because I’m feeling a little unsettled. The point of the summer has come where I have to focus on the future instead of living in the moment. Ever since college started, I haven’t stayed in one place for more than three months at a time. This constant impermanence in my life has gradually taken a larger toll on me as my desire to be home and to stay in one place has grown. This time, it’s even more difficult because my time away from home will significantly eclipse the amount of time I’ll be at home. I know it’s going to be alright; I never would’ve chosen this if I had doubts about that. It’s just the transition period that gets to me...the waiting.
Up until last week, it was easy for Germany not to seem real because there are so many unknowns. Now that it’s hitting me that I only have a month and a half left at home, the clock has started ticking in my mind. There’s so much that I need to accomplish before I leave, and thinking about leaving my family hurts too much to even contemplate. All I can really do is try to make the most of the time I have now. The good news is that getting started is the hardest part for me. Instigating and handling change is a personal challenge for me, but at least once I accept that change is inevitable, I do adapt to new situations quickly. Next year has so many exciting possibilities that once it starts, I’ll be open to taking life as it comes.
So, the really great news that brought on these musings: My host teacher, H, thinks she’s found a place for me to live! A colleague of hers has an apartment on a separate floor of her house that she’s looking to rent. I’ll have my own bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, and it’s super-affordable (a quality that is not easy to come by in apartments in Germany). It’s between H’s house and the school where I’ll be working, so getting to either one will be no problem. I also like the idea that I will not be alone in an apartment complex, and that H knows the family also makes me feel comfortable, since she’s someone who I trust. It’s almost too good to be true. Keep your fingers crossed that it all works out!
Deine,
N*
Up until last week, it was easy for Germany not to seem real because there are so many unknowns. Now that it’s hitting me that I only have a month and a half left at home, the clock has started ticking in my mind. There’s so much that I need to accomplish before I leave, and thinking about leaving my family hurts too much to even contemplate. All I can really do is try to make the most of the time I have now. The good news is that getting started is the hardest part for me. Instigating and handling change is a personal challenge for me, but at least once I accept that change is inevitable, I do adapt to new situations quickly. Next year has so many exciting possibilities that once it starts, I’ll be open to taking life as it comes.
So, the really great news that brought on these musings: My host teacher, H, thinks she’s found a place for me to live! A colleague of hers has an apartment on a separate floor of her house that she’s looking to rent. I’ll have my own bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, and it’s super-affordable (a quality that is not easy to come by in apartments in Germany). It’s between H’s house and the school where I’ll be working, so getting to either one will be no problem. I also like the idea that I will not be alone in an apartment complex, and that H knows the family also makes me feel comfortable, since she’s someone who I trust. It’s almost too good to be true. Keep your fingers crossed that it all works out!
Deine,
N*
Monday, July 5, 2010
Bring the Fire
It often happens to me that the things I swear I will NEVER do are what I end up enjoying. I claimed I would never play in an orchestra, go to the high school I graduated from, or go to school in the South, yet all of those things came to be in my life and were positive experiences that became very important to me. I should know by now not to make blanket “never” statements because they seem to play into the destiny of my life, and in my usual fashion, it’s happened again.
When I was younger, I decided I was never going to be a teacher. I also never thought I’d work with middle and high school students, but both of those things will become part of my reality in about two months. Of course, I’m at a point where I’ve had to eat my words because working as a teaching assistant is something I’ve wanted more than anything else for the past year, and I’m excited. Honestly, I’m also scared out of my mind. Since I’m technically a teaching assistant, it’s not like I’ve been training for this. It’s just me, and the experiences that made me pursue this opportunity in the first place, getting thrown off the deep end. That’s actually alright with me because I think sometimes the best way to learn is to do. I’m prepared to learn as I go, and even though mistakes are inevitable, what’s more important is how I deal with them.
In the last week, I’ve been lucky enough to discuss teaching with two people who shaped my high school experience positively. They both gave me welcome words of advice. The first was simple but so important: Start by learning all of your students’ names and something about them. If your students feel like you are really interested in them, they are more likely to invest in you. You have to make yourself accessible and make that connection to reach them. This ties into the other piece of advice nicely: You have to carry the passion for what you are teaching in you and figure out how you can help students understand why they too want to carry that passion. This is what I call “bringing the fire.” If you don’t like or don’t care about what you do, the students will know. It’s crucial to success that you come into class with a spark. It doesn’t matter how technically well you understand teaching methods if there’s not soul to back it up. The teachers I have admired the most have all had a passionate drive and that is what allows them to relate to and motivate their students to succeed. They want every student to understand why they love what they teach and so they go out of their way to make themselves relevant to even the most resistant students. This is the kind of teacher I want to be. The more you put in, the more you get out.
Deine,
N*
When I was younger, I decided I was never going to be a teacher. I also never thought I’d work with middle and high school students, but both of those things will become part of my reality in about two months. Of course, I’m at a point where I’ve had to eat my words because working as a teaching assistant is something I’ve wanted more than anything else for the past year, and I’m excited. Honestly, I’m also scared out of my mind. Since I’m technically a teaching assistant, it’s not like I’ve been training for this. It’s just me, and the experiences that made me pursue this opportunity in the first place, getting thrown off the deep end. That’s actually alright with me because I think sometimes the best way to learn is to do. I’m prepared to learn as I go, and even though mistakes are inevitable, what’s more important is how I deal with them.
In the last week, I’ve been lucky enough to discuss teaching with two people who shaped my high school experience positively. They both gave me welcome words of advice. The first was simple but so important: Start by learning all of your students’ names and something about them. If your students feel like you are really interested in them, they are more likely to invest in you. You have to make yourself accessible and make that connection to reach them. This ties into the other piece of advice nicely: You have to carry the passion for what you are teaching in you and figure out how you can help students understand why they too want to carry that passion. This is what I call “bringing the fire.” If you don’t like or don’t care about what you do, the students will know. It’s crucial to success that you come into class with a spark. It doesn’t matter how technically well you understand teaching methods if there’s not soul to back it up. The teachers I have admired the most have all had a passionate drive and that is what allows them to relate to and motivate their students to succeed. They want every student to understand why they love what they teach and so they go out of their way to make themselves relevant to even the most resistant students. This is the kind of teacher I want to be. The more you put in, the more you get out.
Deine,
N*
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